The Last Three Words
by quinnovative
Summary: In memory of Sweets. Daisy struggles to cope with Lance's death. Everything is falling apart and she doesn't know what to do.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! Because the season premier last night evoked so many tears, and full on sobbing, I knew I had to write something. This is what I came up with. I hope it's not OOC. It mainly focuses on Lance and Daisy, mostly while Daisy deals with what happened. In that last scene and the promo for next week my heart just broke for her. I hope you enjoy, and I'd love to hear what you think of it!**

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><p>"Hey Daisy," Lance said as he smiled cheerfully.<p>

"Hey Lancelot," I chirped, pressing up on my toes and leaning in for a quick kiss.

When we pulled apart, Lance looked down lovingly towards my growing belly. He pressed a soft kiss against it then looked up. His eyes locked with mine, I could see the pure joy radiating from within his and I knew they reflected the same glow that lit up mine.

"I am so excited for this little guy," he said.

I jumped a bit in anticipation and delight. I threw my arms around Lance, wrapping him in a tight hug. The kind of hug only he could give, warm and safe. Familiar.

"I can't wait," I gushed, "It's going to be so incredible! We're going to pick the perfect name and buy little Lance all kinds of cute, tiny baby clothes. Oh! It's going to be amazing."

He squeezed me tighter and I did the same. I know how much he loved me. I hope he knew how much I loved him. How much I still love him. How much I will always love him. He couldn't wait to add a little one to our family.

Lance pulled back and linked his hands with mine. "I have to get to work but tonight, maybe we could do some more shopping," Lance said.

"Oh, Lance! I would love that. This little guy is so lucky to have you as a dad."

"Not as lucky as we are to have you," Lance said as he moved to the door, our arms outstretched, fingers reluctant to slip apart.

"I love you, Lance," I singsonged. I looked down at my stomach, beaming, "and so does he."

Lance smiled just as our fingers broke apart. He opened the door and stole one last glance.

"I love our little baby and I love you."

That was the last time I saw him alive. 'I love you', The last three words I ever heard him say. Never again will I hear his voice or his laugh, or feel his lips on mine, find security in his arms. I will never wake up beside him. I will never see him holding our child.

I feel so lost and I don't know what to do. Nothing makes sense. I can't figure out why Lance was killed. Why everything was torn apart after we had spent so much time rebuilding it. There was so much to look forward to. We had plans to do more, to travel, to raise our son, to have more kids. We were building a life. And now it's gone. It was stolen and ripped from beneath us.

There's nothing I can do to stop the tears that rack my body. I sink to the floor as sobs consume me. I suddenly feel so alone, as the realization sinks in. He's not here to comfort me. He won't be here to comfort me. He's gone. He can't come back. I am alone. Utterly and terrifyingly alone.

I am so scared. I'm gripped by fear and uncertainty. I don't know how I'll do it. I don't even know how I'll get through this day. Each passing minute stings. It hurts to know time is pulling us farther apart.

I'd give anything for one more moment. One more conversation or glance. One more touch, just so I could memorize his heartbeat. So I could feel the rise of his breathing chest. So I could learn the exact color of his eyes, their deepness and understanding. One more minute to tell him how much I love him and need him. How much I miss him. How I hope he feels no pain. He doesn't deserve pain. He didn't deserve pain. He didn't deserve to die or experience any of his suffering. I want him to know, not a single thought of mine has been of anything but him and our son.

I have his unborn son and soon this child will come into the world and Lance won't be there. The baby will enter this confusing and obscure world without a father. It's not fair. I pound the tile floor beneath me. I scream and yell. I hit until my hands are bruised and I can barely move them. I am so angry, so full of emotions that I cannot fathom.

I fill with a loathing towards the world, the injustice of it all. Deep inside of me I hear Lance's voice. I know that this is not what he would want. This isn't how he saw the world. He showed me that the world is better than it appears. Despite the darkness and despair threatening to destroy me, I know there is light and happiness. I know that I will be okay. I have to be. For Lance and for the baby.

Scientifically, I know it's not Lance's voice I truly hear, but the thought still provides me with comfort and I latch onto it desperately. I have to be strong. I don't want to. I just want my Lancelot. I don't know how I will get through this, I only know that I must. Lance's voice tells me that I am not alone. I have Brennan and Booth, the Jeffersonian. And Lance, I have him, in my heart and in my head. He will always be beside me.


	2. Chapter 2

**So, I originally expected this story to be a little one shot but I can't stop thinking about it. Daisy and Lance and the baby, it's too much for me to not write. Evidently, I am back again with chapter two! At this point I'm not sure how much more I will write, or if I will continue at all. I'm considering starting a new story about Lance and Daisy called 'Letters to Lance' it would be based off the end of this chapter, so that's that, let me know if you'd be interested in reading that... Hopefully I can write it, because this is my first time posting Bones fanfiction but I really love it and wish to continue. Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Reviews are always appreciated. Also, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last time. I can't express how happy it makes me to receive reviews.**

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><p>I wake up on the floor. For a moment I'm lost in a blissful oblivion. I don't know what happened. I don't know that Lance is gone. For a few easy seconds my only concern is why I'm on the floor. But then the inevitable occurs and I remember. The realization is earthshattering and heartbreaking all over again. I feel a heaviness and pain in my gut. I feel sick. I'm angry at the warm tears brimming my eyes. I'm furious when they spill over. I have never felt such a burning hatred towards the world, towards myself. A vengeful fire scorches inside me. I panic frantically to smother it. I know being angry won't bring back Lance, but I want it to. I'd give anything.<p>

I can't believe it, no matter how hard I try. It doesn't seem possible. I know retaliation will lead me to danger and as much as I feel like losing myself through reckless abandonment and destructive activities, I won't allow it. I have Lance's son. I have to keep him safe, he's my last living link to Lance. Although I can't hold back the tears, I still wipe them away. I urge myself to find strength, and somewhere inside of me, I do.

My breath is shaking and my hands are trembling but I push against the floor and slowly, I lift myself up. My body aches and my head pounds but I am standing. I must hold on tightly to every small victory. I don't think I can handle any more cognizant thoughts, so I drag myself towards the bedroom. My feet feel heavy and the distance to the room feels infinite. As I walk I am overwhelmed by memories of Lance. Outside, a crack of thunder roars. I jump at the loud noise and squeeze my eyes shut as the tears begin streaming down my cheeks. In the past few hours I have become so fragile, so pathetically breakable, that even the smallest disturbances frighten me. I am teetering on edge, constantly. I wonder if I will ever feel okay again.

Every howl of the storm and shadow cast across the room reminds me of him. Even the colors of the walls and sight of our bed, sheets still disheveled and unmade. We didn't have time yesterday morning to fix them. We thought we would do it later. I now ache knowing that later will never come. Despite all the memories that devastate my brain, I feel so torn, it is so painful to remember anything about Lance, yet I'm terrified of forgetting him. Of forgetting anything about him, the way his eyes lit up, his curls, that beautiful smile he always wore, even when it seemed so hard, he always seemed so strong. I don't want to forget the way he kissed me. I hate that everything about him is suddenly past tense.

I lean against the bedframe when I reach it. I feel dizzy. I feel like the whole world is falling apart. I collapse into bed, burying myself under the sheets. I run my hand over the mattress until my fingers make contact with his pillow. Clutching the material, I drag it towards my body, pressing my face against it, breathing in his scent. I curl my body around the soft fabric, desperately pleading for silence in my head and willing my body to surrender itself to sleep. It doesn't work.

I tried so hard to be strong while we gathered around his body. I tried so hard not to cry, not to show my weakness, my vulnerability. But as soon as I left, I lost control and now I feel numb.

Distantly I hear my cellphone ringing, somewhere in the living room. I can't muster the energy to get it. A foolish hope pervades my heart. Maybe it's Lance. It could be him. My muscles feel disconnected from my brain, my logical brain that groans in reluctance as my defiant muscles take orders from a broken heart. They shuffle underneath the sheets. I find my feet back on the floor, making their way towards the ringing. My brain knows this is self-destructive but my heart, my damn heart urges me forward. I am an idiot for giving in and letting it guide me. My fingers wrap around the buzzing device. 'Dr. Brennan' it reads. I'm crushed. I hate that I was stupid enough to believe it was him.

I don't feel like talking, I don't really feel like doing anything. But I don't want anyone to worry, I can't let my façade crumble. Other people's concern will only make things worse. I don't want pity. I just want things to go back to the way they were. It's impossible, I know and I have no other option but to keep moving forward. So I gulp back my tears and lock away my disappointment before answering the call and steadying my voice as best as I can.

"Hello," I say. My voice sounds so small, so lost, it barely comes out above a whisper. It wouldn't fool anyone and it certainly wouldn't fool Brennan.

"Daisy," Brennan begins and I'm momentarily taken aback by the concern and sympathy in her voice. I always knew she was more compassionate than she let on, but I never thought the raw, worrisome tone that laces her voice now would ever be directed at me. I instantly feel a little better. "I'm not very good at this. But Booth has been helping me with talking to people and I thought you might need someone right now."

I choke back a sob, I'm not sure if her statement makes me feel more or less alone. But it makes me feel loved. Something breaks inside of me.

"I um- I- thank you," I stumble over my words.

"You don't have to thank me, Daisy. If there's anything we can do, please let me or any one of us know. We all loved him and we all love you. Booth says we're family, and I find that I must agree with him. As a group we exhibit many traits similar to that of a family and families should stick together."

"That means a lot, Dr. Brennan. I really appreciate it," I say, and I can almost feel Brennan's small smile through the phone.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

I let out a sigh, anguish sinking through my body. Misery floods every crevice. I just feel so hollow. So damn empty. I feel like sleeping and screaming and crying. Of course, I can't tell this to Brennan. I can't tell this to anyone.

"Considering the circumstances, I'm.." _falling apart, a mess, losing my mind, scared, lonely, shattering, feeling cheated, crushed, devastated, confused. I'm… _"fine," I finally reply.

I can't tell if Brennan believes me or simply doesn't want to push. Regardless, our conversation soon ends. I hang around on the line for a little while, unsure of what to do next. I desperately need to talk to Lance. I pull out an old notebook and dig around until I find a pen. I begin writing. My fingers frantically scramble across the page, and still they can't keep up with my brain as I write everything I can remember about Lance, all the memories, the laughs, tears, smiles. And then, I write to him.

_Dear Lance,_

_Things have been crazy down here. And sad. I can't express how sad things are. We're all devastated and we miss you terribly. It's unimaginable how cruel and hollow the world feels without you..._


End file.
